Mr T. says, “Get some nuts”

August 7th, 2008 | By Kelsey | No Comments »

A recent Snickers commercial has been banned because critics are claiming that it’s anti-homosexual.

Anti-gay? I don’t think so.

Anti-speedwalker? Yes.

Pro-funny? Definitely.

Decide for youself:

Inferring that all speed walkers are gay is like saying all guys that where excessive amounts of gold chains around their necks and earrings are gay. And even though Mr. T. is probably about 70, I pity the fool that questions his sexuality.

And in a somewhat related issue, here’s a drawing of Mr. T kissing Chuck Norris.

Big Buck Boneheads

July 30th, 2008 | By Kelsey | No Comments »

I’m always amazed when companies or individuals with deep-as-the-ocean pockets do things that, to the ordinary Joe and Jane 2nd Mortgage, are so obviously stupid.

Obama is in Germany speaking to 100’s of thousands of people, and McCain poses for the photographers in front of a Weiner Schnitzel Hut in Ohio. DUMB!

Obama speaks behind an Obama seal that too closely resembles the President’s. DUMB!

The New Yorker’s cover featuring the militant Obamas – DUMB!

I’ve written about Nike’s Marty McFly Hyperdunks already. So far the shoes seem like a good idea, and they look okay. When I first read about their new ad featuring the shoes, it didn’t sound like a bad idea either. From Gawker.com:

Nike’s new ad campaign for its Hyperdunk shoes features a series of pictures of basketball players getting dunked on in what’s considered the worst way possible: the dunker dangling off the rim…in the face of the man being dunk-ee. They all have dynamic slogans like “That Ain’t Right!”

When I read that I immediately pictured Vince Carter dunking on that Russian guy. Seems like an okay ad to me.

Then I read about the controversy around the ads. They were labeled homophobic and insulting to the black community that is already heavily hit by AIDS. “Come on people,” I thought, thinking this was just another case of people taking political correctness to ridiculous levels. Then I saw the ad…

Uh, yeah, that ad ain’t right.

Does the defenders face have to be so buried into the dunkers crotch? It looks like his throat is taking a charge. Gross. That is offensive. I feel uncomfortable. Yet if the fella being dunked on was turning his head, I think it would be an acceptable ad.

How many millions of dollars did NIKE spend on highly paid consultants and ad professionals to design this ad, when they could have just pulled someone off the nearest corner to tell them that it was a bad idea?

Whether it’s men vying to run the country or corporations the size of a country, they each could benefit from a little more common sense.

A Confession…

July 6th, 2008 | By Kelsey | 1 Comment »

THIS CONFESSION DELETED AT THE DEMAND OF MY WIFE.

In defense of OneDerWear

June 28th, 2008 | By Kelsey | 3 Comments »

I never thought I would live to see the day someone came to the defense of disposable underwear. Today is that day. (And here I expected there to be peace on Earth.)

Morgan in response to my post on OneDerWear
:

You must take shower at night otherwise how do you get enough time to dry your washed underwear. I may start with a 10-pack disposable briefs, but I’m not occupying the same amount of space as the trip goes on. That regained space may be good for taking home a souvenir or two.
Nobody is tossing the underwear in the woods. The disposable is made of 100% cotton. Cotton is a biodegradable and renewable material. How is that not environmentally friendly? It is at least no worse than the detergent you flushed down the drain that pollute the water.

Morgan, Morgan, Morgan. Do ya work for OneDerWear?

In your comment you don’t say anything about how comfortable OneDerWear is. If you are in the underwear business, you should know that comfort is key. No one gives a hoot about the environment compared to comfort. Even so, your argument for the environmental-friendliness of OneDerWear seems a bit of a stretch.

The production and shipping of a single pair of disposable underwear probably does not use any less energy or resources than the production and shipping of a single pair of non-disposable underwear. Yet non-disposable underwear may be worn for years and the energy/resources consumed per wear are far less.

You talk as if it would be impossible to have a clean, dry pair of underwear waiting for you post-shower. That’s why I travel with three pair – one pair being washed, one drying, and one clean.

What I’m saying, Morgan, is that your arguments are weak and your underwear are uncomfortable. And if I ever see someone wearing OneDerWear, there is a good chance that – in the name of Mother Earth and not being lazy – that someone is going to get an atomic wedgie.

Undemocratic disasters or Let’s invade Myanmar

May 14th, 2008 | By Kelsey | 2 Comments »

Myanmar, 100,000 killed by cyclone

China, 10,000 killed by earthquake

Myanmar, China, cyclones, earthquakes – all undemocratic.

I’m not saying that disasters struck Myanmar and China because of their lack of democracy. That would make me no different than off-the-wall preachers claiming Hurricane Katrina was the price New Orleans paid for its “celebrations of sin”, or 9/11 a result of fowl coming home to roost. But I would like to say, these uncontrollable disasters are an opportunity for nations, not to capitalize on, but to reach out to the people of Myanmar and China.

The scale of the disaster in China, although massive, is much smaller than that of Myanmar and the Chinese government is probably more capable of responding to a disaster than the U.S., so I think heaping them with moral support and funding will be enough, but Myanmar is whole other story.

The Myanmar government will not allow the full wave of international aid into its country. This could result in 100’s of thousands of preventable deaths as disease and starvation set in. This is the kind of country that should be invaded, not by dropping bombs, but by dropping food and supplies. Why not have an air raid on Myanmar? What, are we afraid of their air force? Do they have an air force?

Excerpts from a CNN piece on the disaster in Myanmar:

Adm. Timothy Keating, head of the U.S. Pacific Command, was on the first of three U.S. aid flights allowed into Myanmar this week.
He described meeting with a Myanmar three-star general who opened up a map of the country and pointed to the areas worst-hit by the cyclone.
“[He] characterized activity there as returning back to normal — his words,” Keating said. “[He said] people are coming back to their villages, they’re planting their crops for the summer season, the monsoon will come and wash all the saltwater out of the ponds.
“His manner, his demeanor, his attitude indicated something less than very serious concern.”
A former Yangon resident now living in Thailand told AP that angry government officials told him that high-energy biscuits rushed into Myanmar on the World Food Program’s first flights were sent to a military warehouse.
Speaking on condition of anonymity over fears for his safety, he told AP that the biscuits were exchanged for what officials said were “tasteless and low-quality” biscuits produced by the Industry Ministry.

Why would a government stand and watch as its people die needlessly?

(Insert lengthy critique of U.S. government during Hurricane Katrina here, which pretty much erases the footing of the rest of the argument)

My theory: They are afraid of exposing their people to democracy and compassion, which breeds more democracy and compassion, which erodes at the fear and power that these jackasses hold over their countrymen.

I guess what I’m saying is…Let’s invade Myanmar!

Who’s with me?

Time magazine is.

Blood, Sweat, and T-shirts

May 6th, 2008 | By Kelsey | 5 Comments »

When I was in Cambodia and China I heard rumblings about a BBC reality show/documentary that followed young Brits as they worked in a sweatshop in India. The first episode of Blood, Sweat, and T-shirts aired last week.

“I don’t understand. Why don’t you just go to night school.”

“There’s like Poo on the floor” in the slums of Mumbai

Cotton: A fashion revelation or “I ain’t carrying that!” or “Do I look like an ork to you!”

For more of Blood, Sweat, and T-shirts GO HERE.

Daily Show correspondent John Oliver on Fair Trade, China, and Outsourcing

April 23rd, 2008 | By Kelsey | 1 Comment »

Worried that China is going to dominate the global economy? Stop. Oliver assures us that they won’t because Chinese people will never buy inflatable grills.

What about Free Trade? Oliver says we should demonize unfair trade.

Outsourcing? Yes. Oliver outsources his jokes to a 10-year old Indonesian boy.

Watch the video. It’s just another example of why we should be electing comedians to the land’s highest offices.

Global warming good for water-skiers

March 20th, 2008 | By Kelsey | No Comments »

Economist William Nordhaus on global warming:

Snow-skiing will be hurt – but waterskiing will benefit.

As a fella who has dreamed about SCUBA diving around the ruins of Angkor Wat, I think I would enjoy an early morning ski through Manhattan or Athens.

(I read the quote in Bill McKibben’s book Deep Economy)

What irks me most about climate change

February 26th, 2008 | By Kelsey | No Comments »

Forget melting ice caps, rising sea levels, displaced people, spread of disease, and other bad stuff. What irks me the most about climate change and, in general, our crappy stewardship of our planet is the disappearance of quality dive sites around the world.

Yeah, that’s selfish…oh, well.

Here’s a NY Times piece with more evidence that our dive sites are fading fast.

Save the reef!

What’s really happening in this pic

February 21st, 2008 | By Kelsey | 7 Comments »

I was scrolling through photos the other day, searching out details, and I came across the photo below. It seems like a nice photo of me and some Bangladeshi garment workers, doesn’t it? Well, you don’t know the whole story. I had forgotten all about it. Such memories are repressed.

See that dude to the right of me? I don’t want to go into details, but as this pic was taken, he was trying to molest me. If you look close, you can see my innocence drifting away. Following this photo, he received a quick elbow to the ribs and then he disappeared, back to whatever creepy lair he crawled out of.