Kick ‘Em Where It Counts

By Kelsey | May 2nd, 2007 | 11 Comments »

Not sure I’m digging Phnom Penh. I know it’s too early to make the call on Cambodia as a whole, since I haven’t been to the countryside, but here in PP there are a lot of foreigners who give the rest of us foreigners a bad name.

I just saw a man that should be walking with a walker being helped down the street, arm-in-arm, by a beautiful Khmer girl between the ages of 18-22. Quite the ladies man. Who cares if you can’t control your bladder when you still got what it takes (dollars) to land a little hottie? Walk proud old man, walk proud. Or should I say, hobble proud old man, hobble proud.

If you, as a foreign man, walk near the river at night, young children will proposition you. How screwed up is that?

I knew that Sex Tourism existed in Cambodia (random parenthetical question: hey, wasn’t this where that child molester dude who confessed to the Jon Benet Ramsey murder turned himself in?) But that doesn’t mean I have to act like “that’s just how it is” and go on my merry way.

What to do? What to do?

Got it! I’ll start an NGO (non-governmental organization) to combat sex tourism. What’s one more NGO among the hundreds that exist here already? So many people drive big ol’ Land Cruisers with some sticker on the door with their NGO’s logo. My white Land Cruiser will have a picture of an upward moving foot and above the logo it will say “Kick ‘em Where it Counts” or KEWIC.

The mission of KEWIC is simple. If you see a Western man walking with a local girl half his age, you walk up to him and say, “Sir do you have the time?” When he looks you kick him in the groin.

For only the price of a cup of coffee/day you can put an end to Sex Tourism…and pay for my Land Cruiser.

It’s your world. Make a difference today. Support KEWIC and kick sex tourism where it counts.

Thank you,

Kelsey Timmerman, Founder of KEWIC

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11 Responses to “Kick ‘Em Where It Counts”

1. Kent Says:
   May 3rd, 2007 at 4:49 am

   Simple, cost efficient (except for the Land Cruiser) yet highly effective!

   I like it!

2. Kelsey Says:
   May 3rd, 2007 at 5:44 am

   The Land Cruiser is SO necessary. Let’s say there is some sexual deviant foreigner over yonder. And between me and said perve are some potholes or a shallow river filled with crocodiles. All I have to do is Land Cruiser over and “What time is it?” BOOM right where it counts. Without the Land Cruiser he would go unpunished. I’ll post the address where you can send money in the near future. Until then, Kent you may want to open a bank account and set aside a significant portion of your check each week for KEWIC.

3. Lynne Says:
   May 3rd, 2007 at 6:56 am

   Now that’s a cause I can get behind! I’ve been known to hunt down people twice my size because I felt they were abusing/unfairly treating someone much younger than them. Of course, I usually have someone behind me tugging on my shirt tail to keep from getting my ass kicked, but I make my point! If you need a “side-kick” in this quest please advise.

4. Kent Says:
   May 3rd, 2007 at 12:48 pm

   haha… Better Idea:

   You’re good at finding your way through a corporate maze and getting things done. Why don’t you get in touch with Toyota or Hummer. You sell just one top Exec on KEWIC and you’ll be driving over the deepest pot holes Phnom Phen can dish in no time.

   Ask for a few modifications while you’re at it. Maybe something along the lines of a giant hydraulic ACME style boot attached to the front. And maybe a P.A. system so you can ask for the time without even exiting the vehicle.

   Think Big Kelsey!

5. Shikha Says:
   May 4th, 2007 at 2:44 am

   So Kelsey, could I get a job with KEWIC?? I can keep the NGO udated with all the places in PhnomPenh where one can see the ‘Granpas’; ).

   Atleast Battambong won’t be THIS crazy!

6. Kelsey Says:
   May 4th, 2007 at 5:04 am

   Shikha, you are hired. Welcome to the KEWIC team. Do you own any really pointy heals?

7. jv Says:
   May 4th, 2007 at 9:00 am

   I like it.

   Ironically, I’ve been told that NGOs are part of the reason sex tourism got so big in Cambodia. It’s the dirty little secret of international aid work. All these rich male foreigners, either single or without their wives, with nothing to do.

   Of course in Cambodia the problem has greatly expanded, largely due to the lawless environment in the years after the war ended (and still?). I heard some nasty stories when I was there in 1999. I’m sure it’s only gotten worse.

8. Contest: Create Your Own NGO! - Travel - Contest, Country: Cambodia Travel - Where Am I Wearing? Says:
   May 8th, 2007 at 3:21 am

   […] For an idea of what I’m looking for, refer to my recent post where I layout the details for my imaginary NGO, Kick ‘Em Where It Counts, that combats foreign perves in Cambodia. […]

9. Epicurious or Steve’s Barbecue - Travel - Country: Cambodia, Logistics Travel - Where Am I Wearing? Says:
   May 11th, 2007 at 2:50 am

   […] Last night I decided to go local. This decision was heavily influenced by the need to be temporarily relieved of my duties with KEWIC. […]

10. S Theisen Says:
    May 11th, 2007 at 1:09 pm

    I like it. Good story.

11. Kelsey Says:
    May 12th, 2007 at 12:24 am

    Thanks. I’ll put you down for a donation of $50. Please send the check soon.

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